Friday, July 06, 2012

Three Things (Out of Many) on the Internets Which Upset Me, for Vastly Different Reasons

#1. Destiny in Bloom, which bills itself as "A Women's Online Magazine." I was going to link to it, but I got paranoid that a trail could somehow lead back here to good old foulmouthed godless commie homo Damn Kids, and the person who inadvertently caused me to know of this site's existence might come to know of Damn Kids' existence, which would not be good for anybody. So just google it. And when you do, you'll know why it is one thousand pukes into a dirty bucket. These people refer to the deity as "Father God," they reiterate and reinforce again and again their take on the proper state of male/female relations (he's the Head of Household, the leader in matters spiritual and otherwise; she's "submitted" and "receptive" and such, and neither are they equal nor shall they ever really understand one another because Father God made them different according to His Divine and Mysterious and Perfect Plan, yada yada yada), etc. Plus I'm pretty sure they didn't pay for any of that stupid stock photography that's all over the place.

#2.  A website selling junkola, with the tagline Boomers and Beyond.  A special computer that "you don't have to ask your children or grandchildren to set up." A cornucopia of personal magnifying and amplifying devices. Guardrails, hand rails, a dozen different kinds of foam wedges to make your bed more comfortable. Watches with gigantic faces. Products addressing foot care, incontinence and "weather" needs. Oh, Internets ... don't go there unless you want to ruin a perfectly fine day by confronting the reality of all of humanity's inevitable decline into senescence and death. I'm not kidding.

#3. This insane Teddy Ruxpin art installation. Less "upsetting," and more "bug-eyed goosebumped creeped-out-beyond-reach-of-Ativan." This is truly wild stuff. Guy wires 80 Teddy Ruxpins to a wall and has them set to speak (at random apparently for all time) -- in their creeptacular Fitter/Happier Ruxpin voices -- things people have typed on blogs & websites ("emotional messages gathered live from the Internet," if that helps to clarify). This one, you gotta go see. You will trip balls. TRIP BALLS.

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