Thursday, August 16, 2012

It's like the milk truck scene in Three Kings.

I'm'a take a break from baggin on shit today and bring y'all:

A Few Wonderful Things From the Internets, Which Maybe You've Already Seen, But If Not, Here's Your Chance

So Ladies If the Butt Is Round, and You Want a Triple-X Hoedown
This rendered me HELPLESS with the awesome! Guy cuts together 295 movies to form "Baby Got Back" -- everybody from Cary Grant to Pee-Wee Herman and Marge Gunderson gets a word or two in. From the guy who did Don Draper Says What, so you know this is fucking gold medal shit, y'all. (Hat tip: the forever-winning List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago). 

Voguing Into Manhood
Perhaps the only thing that could have made me wheeze in agonized laughter this morning (I was up, I think, SIX times with the teething REM-sucking vampire, and once with the 4.5-year-old brat-phasing one): A kid doing a full-out, absolutely committed performance of Madonna's "Vogue" at his own bar mitzvah in 1992. There is a large Madonna poster involved, as well as a king-hell jacket-tearing-off which reveals a gigantic Madonna rendering on the back of the kid's dress shirt. It's -- it's kind of uplifting, honestly; as one commenter said, "he must have really supportive parents, bless him."

Sippy Cups Can Go to Hell
Holy shit, did this make me laugh yesterday -- could. not. stop. For like hours. I can't even stop finding stuff to quote -- but here's a taste:
One more thing about the whole BPA issue: I'd like to issue a big FUCK YOU to whoever found out BPAs in plastic are possibly harmful. I bet this was Kelly Preston's doing. Now I can't put the sippy cup in the dishwasher because the heat will cause the BPAs to leak out and give my kid triple AIDS or something. Any item that can't go into a dishwasher should be destroyed.

Labels: , , , , , , ,


Blogger francine said...

Husband and I watched Shark Tank the other night with these parents that had patented some sippy cup with a straw or whatever and we had a full-on 10 minute convo about cups. And then we were like, really? Is this where we have come to in our lives? That we just spent precious alone-time with no kids around talking about sippy cups and getting all upset about the Shark Tank people and their design flaws poor price point?

10:58 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Francine -- I think you actually might be my very best friend in the whole world, despite the fact that we've never met. Why are we not in physical proximity so we can become the BFFs the universe clearly intends us to be?

IOW -- testify, hon. TESTIFY. Love you, love your sippy-cup rage.

9:39 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home