Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Four Happinesses

Possible Reasons, At Any Given Time, That I'm Sitting Over Here Cackling to Myself Like the Office Version of a Crazy Street Person Today

--"Pace yourself, Judy."
Hader is now in that awesome phase on SNL, where he's doing stuff that makes him laugh instead of pitching in wherever needed, and he usually fucking kills me -- but on the John Hamm ep, he did another Vincent Price Special, and y'all, Judy Garland was on it, shitfaced on pills & booze, and he tolerates it for awhile, then goes, as she's swallowing another handful of uppers/downers/screamers/laughers, "Pace yourself, Judy. It's only 7:30." And I DIED. And laughed my ass off. And died again. Laugh/die/revive/repeat. Since TWO WEEKS AGO I've been laughing about this line, y'all -- I typed it into Word, printed it out, and put it on my cube wall at work! "Pace yourself, Judy," I'll say to myself, then laugh out loud. "Pace yourself, Judy," I scribble in a notebook in a boring meeting, then try to cover the snarfling with a cough. "Pace yourself, Judy," I decide will be the name of my production company, then laugh/die/revive/repeat. And it keeps gettin funnier every time I think of it!

--Jesus Gets Around.
He's doin' 50 in a 65! This is the kind of thing that would probably annoy the shit out of my mom, but I can't get enough of it.

--This, which my friend posted on another friend's Facebook wall, in commiseration over a pear-related purse mishap: "I killed [my wife]'s Blackberry by putting in the same pocket as a pear a couple months ago. It squished around so much it got into the keyboard."

--The maniac German of a Spinning instructor who came up to me specially after class on Monday to tell me that "Dat vass excellent vork on de flats today. Very goot!"[very serious face, nod of Schrute-like approbation + clench of fist denoting contained but sincere enthusiasm]. Me, FTW!

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