Friday, July 30, 2010

Someday my eyes gon' roll right out my head.

Among the things I think that gigantic stupid over-bearded fuck on the BART train last night should not have said to the seven-year-old girl whose mom he appeared to be squiring around: "You have to sit here [indicating a spot between him and the mom] so nobody can reach in and snatch you off the train and run off with you."

Because: What the fuck? What kind of thing is that to say? And no, he wasn't kidding, at all. He was deadly serious. And to my knowledge, there hasn't been a rash of BART child-snatchings lately or anything. Why would you put an idea like that in a kid's head? Why is it in YOUR head, Mister "Can't Be Bothered Wearing A Clean T-Shirt"?

And because also, Mom: Where's your brain? You're a reasonably attractive lady -- who is this assclown, and why are you allowing him to talk to your daughter like that?

And furthermore, you have other evidence of his idiocy: At Embarcadero, he insisted you all get on the Daly City-bound train, which he explained that you all would take three stops, then get off at Powell, cross the platform, and take the train going the other way.

Now, not all of you DK readers know about BART, so I'll tell you why that is the stupidest fucking thing I heard all day yesterday (and this is a day that included someone asking me to "leverage [my] learnings from the [X] meeting and put together a one-pager reporting out on the top-line goals [speaker] articulated going forward"): BART branches off a little once it gets to the East Bay, but for the journey through the city, it's a near-goddamn-useless single track -- no branches, no other lines, no alternative routes -- all trains make all stops in the one single path it takes. It's not like NYC, Paris, London, etc., where you sometimes have to travel the wrong direction to meet up with the train that takes you crosstown or wherever you want to go -- THEY ALL STOP THERE, NO MATTER WHAT THE ENDPOINT IS. You stand in Embarcadero station long enough, the train you want will stop right in front of your face eventually. So all this bearded fuckdongle did was make them spend an extra twenty minutes belowdecks getting Homeless Schmutz on their pants for no goddamn reason.

Well, that and plant nightmare seeds in a little kid's brain.

Ucccch, people -- people are the worst.

I mean -- not you guys. You guys're awesome. :-)

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Blogger Panda!!!! said...

Maybe the guy kidnapped the mom and daughter from a different BART train earlier that day?

7:20 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Ha! I kind of hope so, because the idea that that mom was with that enormous douchenut voluntarily is just too depressing to contemplate.

8:41 AM  
Blogger francine said...

ahahahahah bearded fuckdongle! i heard my friend's husband refer to multiple penises as "dingus" the other day which i really enjoyed as well. but is dingus like deer? like you don't say that you saw deers. you saw a deer. or you saw multiple deer. so i guess you either see a dingus or you see multiple dingus. you don't see dinguses. or do you?

7:11 PM  

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