Burnination of the mouth, via UPS

Best Maid Sour Pickles are the best, sourest, most perfect semi-food item in the known universe. Made in Fort Worth, sold in stores regionally, and now, they’re available online (I got a four-pack delivered to me just today, and only in the nick of time -- I'm down to about a half-dozen in my last jar at home!). I’m pretty much the only person I know who can stand them — seriously, the pucker factor on these alleged ex-cucumbers goes up to eleven — and though they have almost negative calories, the sodium in one pickle pretty much covers your RDA of that particular nutritional element, not to mention taking care of your vinegar dosage for the week (I typically eat 3-4 at a time, if that tells you anything). Mr. Gleemonex gets the grimmest look of horror on his face whenever he sees me going for a Best Maid Sour Pickle, forget witnessing me drinking the juice … man, it’s unholy. If by “unholy” you mean awesome, which in this case I totally do.