Top Ten Things I Learned in College
Having no blog idears of my own today, I shamelessly steal this theme from the Hip-Hop Lawyer, who gets full credit for originating the idea ...
1) You know how smart you thought you were, back in your tiny high school in your tiny town? Well, maybe you are that smart. But guess what? Nearly everyone around you now is WAY smarter.
2) White boys that went to prep school are either into Phish and dating Asian girls, or are insufferable douchebags whose families have more money than God, and who are convinced they'll be running the world someday (NB: they're pretty much right about that).
3) Your parents might not be 100% right on every single thing in the history and future of ever.
4) If you are a girl, you don't ever have to wait too long to get a drink at a frat party. This is as true at a notoriously low-Greek-participation Ivy as it is at a UC Chico as it is at every bar you'll ever go to in your life.
5) Foreign students are all rich, unless they're super-extra-fucking-rich. And a surprising number of them are nobility.
6) Yes, you have to tip. Yes, for everything. Yes, even though you're broke as shit. Yes, every single time. Jesus.
7) Your parents are done giving you money beyond what they get charged by the college -- not one more dime. Tip: buy your munchy food on the University meal plan -- it's not itemized, so they don't know it's all going for Cheetos and Froot Loops that you'll scarf down while baked.
8) Disagreement does not equal disrespect. That said, passionate discussions of the dialectic of postmodern this or that, or the dominant paradigm of the other? Leave 'em in the dorm hallway when you graduate, OK, chief?
9) Being surrounded by people who aren't straight white middle-class Christians from the south is eye-opening, especially if it never occurred to you before that you might not be the norm and the standard worldwide.
10) You ain't Jack Kerouac, and you ain't F. Scott Fitzgerald. The sooner you get over that idea, the better.
1) You know how smart you thought you were, back in your tiny high school in your tiny town? Well, maybe you are that smart. But guess what? Nearly everyone around you now is WAY smarter.
2) White boys that went to prep school are either into Phish and dating Asian girls, or are insufferable douchebags whose families have more money than God, and who are convinced they'll be running the world someday (NB: they're pretty much right about that).
3) Your parents might not be 100% right on every single thing in the history and future of ever.
4) If you are a girl, you don't ever have to wait too long to get a drink at a frat party. This is as true at a notoriously low-Greek-participation Ivy as it is at a UC Chico as it is at every bar you'll ever go to in your life.
5) Foreign students are all rich, unless they're super-extra-fucking-rich. And a surprising number of them are nobility.
6) Yes, you have to tip. Yes, for everything. Yes, even though you're broke as shit. Yes, every single time. Jesus.
7) Your parents are done giving you money beyond what they get charged by the college -- not one more dime. Tip: buy your munchy food on the University meal plan -- it's not itemized, so they don't know it's all going for Cheetos and Froot Loops that you'll scarf down while baked.
8) Disagreement does not equal disrespect. That said, passionate discussions of the dialectic of postmodern this or that, or the dominant paradigm of the other? Leave 'em in the dorm hallway when you graduate, OK, chief?
9) Being surrounded by people who aren't straight white middle-class Christians from the south is eye-opening, especially if it never occurred to you before that you might not be the norm and the standard worldwide.
10) You ain't Jack Kerouac, and you ain't F. Scott Fitzgerald. The sooner you get over that idea, the better.
Labels: life 101
posted by Gleemonex at 3:42 PM
2 Comments:
much funnier than mine!
Naaaahht! It's just a salute to greatness.
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