[incoherent, wrathful sputtering, with spittle and foam]

Heads are poppin up all over the cube farm around me -- my howl of doomed rage brought em all up like a giant whack-a-mole game.

God. Fucking. DAMMIT.

We knew this was going to happen, we watched slackjawed and bug-eyed as each day's strip lurched onto the screen like some terrible grinding nightmare that you're helpless to wake up from -- and yet, we held out hope.

Maybe it's a surprise engagement party! Maybe ... uhh ... ok, if it is The Grand Betrayal, then Liz will turn right around and elope with Warren!

Grasping at the weakest, most unlikely straws ...

But no. It's all over.

Paul's a lying cheating dirtbag without even the stones to tell her BEFORE she comes to Mtigwaki (he's not a Patterson or a Patterson Childhood Sweetheart, after all!), Warren's merely a Friend, and Liz will trot, wounded and twice burned by the Mean Old World, right back into the arms of Granthony -- where, firmly back in her parents' good graces and living right down the street from them, she'll spend her life combing cinnabon crumbs out of the pornstache, watching her ass get bigger and bigger as she quits her job, mothers the Spawn of Therese, and procreates with an ambitionless lump of Sanctimonious Boringness, just like she was Born To Do.

Christ, I need a drink.