Monday, November 11, 2013

It's turned us into a nation of people who say stuff like "open concept," as if that's even a thing.

These days, whenever I'm mainlining HGTV (which is often. like, really often. shamefully often.), I generally prefer the home-renovation shows (Property Brothers, the weirdly addictive Flip or Flop*), but I still see a fair amount of House Hunters and its various Law & Order-style spinoffs (HH International, HH Renovations, etc.).

And my favorite part of every House Hunters, always, is when one of the twerpy newlyweds realizes what a world-class pain in the ass their partner is. You can actually see why 50 percent of marriages end in divorce: It's because somebody married someone who, when they're both standing in the walk-in closet of the master bedroom (WITH a camera crew), cannot stop themselves making that stupid fucking joke that every nimrod makes about "Haha ok so this is great but where does YOUR stuff go?"

*Which Mr. Gleemonex and I are both hoping someday shows a complete, total flameout of a flip -- where Tarek & Christina lose their entire investment and more, ending up selling it for like twelve hundred bucks. 

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Anonymous Maggie said...

I also really enjoy the point in far too many HH episodes when one or the other person says something like they couldn't possibly buy one of the houses because they don't like the color of the interior paint or carpet or some other relatively easily and cheaply corrected thing.

Perhaps I've just spent too much time in places with RE markets so ridiculous that I would be thrilled to find a spacious home in my price range with a modern kitchen and walk in closets in which I had only to change the interior paint color.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

I feel you, completely. It's PAINT.

Also they always complain about the master bedroom being small. What are you, throwing parties in there?

12:13 PM  
Blogger francine said...

we watch a fair amount of all those shows too. my husband and i like to throw around, "...and this would be a great place to have my morning coffee." because, you know, so many people have lots of time to use their balcony/back porch/kitchen window as a space to just relax for an hour before going to work.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Haha! Oh yes, that's one of ours, too -- although we tend to focus on this or that area being "a great place for entertaining."

Entertaining whom, the pope? Y'all don't have any friends! Come ON!

1:21 PM  
Blogger francine said...

exactly. your spouse is so selfish and horrible, there's no way y'all have any friends! (because there's always one half of the partnership that is completely unbearable and we're like, why are they buying a home together? shouldn't someone be stepping in to prevent the nice person in the relationship from making a horrible, horrible mistake with this a-hole?)

7:30 PM  

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