Come Armageddon, come Armageddon, come

Oh for FUCK'S SAKE.

What next, the captain of the hockey team asks Sha ... non to the prom? Canada's equivalent of the head cheerleader invites her to a sleepover, where all the other cheerleaders listen, enthralled, to ten straight hours of her trying to get through three paragraphs of a story about Special People's Camp?

Meanwhile, offscreen, Granthony is carefully tucking his tiny bait-n-tackle up into his undercarriage so they won't ruin the line of his panties, slicking on some Dippity-Do, and shuffling over to the elder Pattersons' place to ask John for his lovely daughter's hand in holy matrimony. And he'll say it like that, too -- just you wait.

This is GARBAGE. September cannot come soon enough.